i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
