she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
