Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you have to choose: penises or morals?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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