2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Enjoy the penises
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
