He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
