We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize