by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
