we have officially lost it.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
