I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
