what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
