ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
