Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
