I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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