I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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