my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
