I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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