The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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