i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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