it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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