Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize