I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
