i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
