Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
