dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
