a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
