Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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