It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
