Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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