I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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