I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize