i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
