I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
