And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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