i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
