dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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