She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
