There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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