I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
