She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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