I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
