i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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