College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
