she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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