So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize