There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
