I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
