Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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