Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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