Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
