dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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