don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
