There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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