my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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