How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize