I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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