Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
