his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
