Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
