Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Is Oprah even human
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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