I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
