8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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