The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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