I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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