guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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