my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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