I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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